I Don’t Understand

Explain Christianity to me

Mallory Elizabeth Baskin


Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. And I am under no delusions about it. I know I am of average intelligence. I have a terrible memory, a decent aptitude for test-taking, and a strong grasp of logic. I can’t do math and changed college majors to avoid it. So it makes sense there are things I don’t understand.

Things like quantum physics, how boats float while being heavier than water, and the point of credit scores all fall into that category. I have other questions like why old white guys still run the country, what the heck is in meat with no meat, and the magic behind making enough to own a house. I don’t understand a lot of things about the world we live in and I own it because as I’ve already stated, I’m not the smartest.


But as you already know if you have read some of my other writing, religion is a sore spot for me. I don’t understand most of it. And not in the nobody has explained it type of way but in the it doesn’t seem to make sense type of way.

But what catches me is that most of the questions I have about Christianity, the religion that so many believe is synonymous with America, can’t actually be answered by those same die-hard followers of it.


The answer that Christians seem to give for questions they don’t actually have the answer to, is faith. Faith is always the answer. Pure belief because they decided to believe.

I don’t understand faith. And I don’t understand where they draw the line for it.

I am not good with faith. As I mentioned, I like logic, reasoning things out, and being able to draw a conclusion. But every Christian conversation eventually comes down to faith.

God is good and has a plan. We are supposed to have faith in that. I am meant to believe that the God who made childhood cancer and eternal damnation is loving. I should have faith in these things. Despite what seems like direct evidence to the contrary.

But faith in people, in science, and in history is misplaced. Comparing things now to things then and believing that history repeats itself is a conspiracy theory. Believing that parents might know what is best for their kids…



Mallory Elizabeth Baskin

Trying to get good at this writing thing. Talking about being gay, education, religion, getting better, and making life worth living.