Your Apology Does Not Require Forgiveness

Apologies do not magically fix things

Mallory Elizabeth Baskin

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Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Saying you are sorry changes nothing. We get trained from a young age on how to apologize. We associate apologies with moving forward and mending relationships. None of this is true.

What Apologies Do

Apologies are nothing more than ways to make both parties feel better. When you apologize you are admitting you screwed up or that you hurt someone. You are attempting to own up to that and let the other person know that you see your mistake. It is an acknowledgment of your actions causing someone else pain or inconvenience. This is meant to make you feel better by alleviating some of your guilt. And to make the other person feel better by validating their feelings. Apologies do that, they make people feel better. But that is all they do.

They Don’t Fix Things

Apologies do not fix your mistake. Things can’t be undone when someone is hurt. You can’t go back and not do it. You can’t put the water back in the bucket after it’s dropped. Nothing you say or do will change what you have already done. The hurt you handed to someone will remain even after you apologize for it. While apologies can make the person feel better after the fact because they have been acknowledged in their feelings, it…

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Mallory Elizabeth Baskin

Trying to get good at this writing thing. Talking about being gay, education, religion, getting better, and making life worth living.